GUESS WHO'S SUPER EXCITED AND CAN'T SLEEP?
I don't know, probably someone... I can't sleep, but I'm not really excited.
Bah, insomnia.
I shall write a tutorial!
*
Sleeping For the Less Than Intelligent, by Ashley
So, you want to sleep? Why? Is it because everybody's doing it? Is it because you want to look chipper and attractive like everyone else? Here's a step by step guide on how to be a conformist. If you are a vampire, and/or nonconformist and don't sleep, please disregard this post entirely.
Tools
- eyelids
- a place to lie down, or sit comfortably
- realistic expectations
- darkness, and/or a lack of annoying noise
- pillows, blankets, and pajamas [optional;)]
1. Turn off lights, sign out of blogger, shut your music off, and shut your door.
2. lay down in your comfortable place, and shut your eyes.
3. Try to find cracks in your eyelids.
4. Don't think, you won't fall asleep if you think.
5. You won't know it, but at a point, you'll fall asleep... as long as you don't think.
6. Magically, a few seconds after you shut your eyes, it will be light out, and someone will force you to get up, and start your entire routine over again.
Tips: Don't have a facebook.
Don't have a blog.
Don't have texting.
Don't have a twitter.
Don't use StumbleUpon.
Don't think.
Don't tell yourself you have to fall asleep.
Don't think this post is legit medical advice.
-If this guide doesn't work for you, well I guess you're in the same position I'm in. Stuck in friggin italics. Also, try a different tutorial. Or listen to ocean noises, or Mozart. I personally listen to Mozart when I'm trying to fall asleep. Wow, you're still reading this? Omg. You're worse than me. Man. That's rough.
So, you want to sleep? Why? Is it because everybody's doing it? Is it because you want to look chipper and attractive like everyone else? Here's a step by step guide on how to be a conformist. If you are a vampire, and/or nonconformist and don't sleep, please disregard this post entirely.
Tools
- eyelids
- a place to lie down, or sit comfortably
- realistic expectations
- darkness, and/or a lack of annoying noise
- pillows, blankets, and pajamas [optional;)]
1. Turn off lights, sign out of blogger, shut your music off, and shut your door.
2. lay down in your comfortable place, and shut your eyes.
3. Try to find cracks in your eyelids.
4. Don't think, you won't fall asleep if you think.
5. You won't know it, but at a point, you'll fall asleep... as long as you don't think.
6. Magically, a few seconds after you shut your eyes, it will be light out, and someone will force you to get up, and start your entire routine over again.
Tips: Don't have a facebook.
Don't have a blog.
Don't have texting.
Don't have a twitter.
Don't use StumbleUpon.
Don't think.
Don't tell yourself you have to fall asleep.
Don't think this post is legit medical advice.
-If this guide doesn't work for you, well I guess you're in the same position I'm in. Stuck in friggin italics. Also, try a different tutorial. Or listen to ocean noises, or Mozart. I personally listen to Mozart when I'm trying to fall asleep. Wow, you're still reading this? Omg. You're worse than me. Man. That's rough.
*
What kind of noise do giraffes make?
I'd really like to know.
Just throwin' that out there.
Comment. ^_^ :)
They actually don't make noise, because they don't have vocal cords. Crazy, right?
ReplyDelete